


Nindō

by xaia



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Found Family, Gen, Just a nice fic about Kakashi having a good life, More To Add Later, Rin and Obito will be coming up soon, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-06-30 13:58:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15753114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xaia/pseuds/xaia
Summary: Hatake Sakumo was able to save his comrades and finish the mission. Instead of the mission being his priority, Kakashi grew up learning to value the people he cares about above all else. So now he only has one goal: to become the strongest ninja in the village in order to protect those closest to him.Unfortunately, things are never that simple.





	1. Foundation

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is the short intro to a new fic I've been working on. I'm honestly... not sure what spurred me to take up this fic again... It's been years since Naruto ended, yet here I am.
> 
> This will be very Kakashi centric and is an AU where Sakumo was able to save his comrades AND finish the mission. Basically, a fic where Kakashi grows up very loved and feels very loved. I wanted to work on everyone's relationship with Kakashi since we know from all the Kakashi Gaiden info that he was very involved with how the story of Naruto came about. This fic will probably go up until Naruto becomes a genin - somewhere around that area, as I already have most of it mapped out and parts of it written. 
> 
> Also, this is crossposted on FF.net, but since this is the newer, slightly edited version, I'm sure there are to be some mistakes. Why? Because I suck at proofing my own work, so I'm here to apologize prematurely. But besides that, thanks for reading!

With every rotation of gauze around his torso, he could feel the raw skin stinging as the material rubbed up against torn flesh. More blood oozed from the wound as he tried to tighten the binding, causing him to hiss in annoyance and pain before finishing the process, neatly clipping the end of the tape together. He then moved gingerly to discard the pile of crimson bandages that had accumulated on his bed while he was tending to himself, hoping that the blood hadn’t seeped into his sheets.

Earlier that morning, he and Minato were assigned a short patrol along the border towards Sunagakure. Unfortunately, what was meant to be a peaceful mission ended up turning into a small skirmish. Tensions were high between the five nations, and despite the temporary standstill, everyone knew it was only a matter of time before the villages went to war again. However, while he and his sensei ended up winning the fight, Kakashi didn’t leave without getting a bit roughed up, and he had gone through great lengths to make sure Minato was unaware of this.

Part of him knew that he should have probably gotten the cut looked at by a medic, or at the very least, _Minato_ , but his father was coming back from his mission that same day and he couldn't afford to be late because of some mindless injury he sustained during his own mission.

It had been two years since he was promoted from genin to chuunin, and he was fairly certain he would be taking the jounin test sometime later in the year. After his father had come back with information that had stopped a brewing war, Hatake Sakumo's skills were in high demand.

The details of the S-ranked mission were so classified that even Kakashi wasn't completely sure what had happened. All he knew was that if his father hadn't been able to get the information from their spy source, the Third Shinobi War would have begun and Konoha would have been at the core of it.

Thus, the Hatake name was known as a legend. People had feared the name Hatake before; after all, the abilities of the White Fang were known throughout all five lands and Sakumo was often acknowledged as someone on the same level of the Konoha Sannin. Now, the citizens of the village practically worshiped him. The teammates that the White Fang had saved during that mission also felt indebted to him, saying that if they had been under anyone else's command, they would have surely perished. And while Kakashi found their hero-worship attitude towards his father annoying, he would much rather have them adore him than hate him.

Even then, Kakashi missed his father. Ever since he became a chunin, the father and son had spent less and less time together. When Sakumo was on a mission, Kakashi was training or putzing around the village, and when Sakumo was given time off, _Kakashi_ was away on a mission. The two were like night and day, never able to align.

But now he would get to see his father for the first time in months – and he wasn’t about to let dull hospital time ruin their meeting. _I’ll get it checked once father and I talk,_ he thought firmly.

After one last inspection of his handiwork, he stood from his bed, hopped out of his window, and headed towards the village gate, ignoring the stinging sensation in his side.

* * *

The skies were red that morning, making the world above him look like a painting with the clouds as wide streaks of white contrasting against the dark background. Kakashi found it ominously pretty. Though he was never one to believe in superstition, he found himself walking at a faster pace towards the gates, dread slowly churning in his gut. _Everything's fine_ , he reassured himself in his head. _Jiraiya-jisan is with him. He'll be there._

However, when Kakashi arrived at the entrance to the village, his fear was only confirmed. He stood alone, staring at the large opening that lead to the outside world. The sight of the empty pathway left him to be more disappointed than he would admit. His eyes swam slightly, making him dizzy, but he shook off the feeling when he heard someone call for him.

"Kashi-kun! What're you doin' looking all down?" A very familiar voice sounded from behind him.

Kakashi had barely been able to turn around when he felt two arms grab him and pull him into a tight embrace. He tried not to gasp in pain as his wound was suddenly aggravated. "K-Kushina-san," he coughed, trying to breathe. The woman released her hold on him only to promptly flick his nose.

"Oi, brat, what'd I tell you to call me? I don't want any of this '-san' crap. It's just Kushina, got it?"

Kakashi rubbed his nose and sent her a half-heated glare, "Fine…"

"Honestly! What eight year-old uses such formal honorifics anyway?" Kushina grumbled under her breath, but settled down slightly when Minato appeared behind her and placed a calming hand on her shoulder.

“Terrorizing my student again?” The blonde sent Kakashi a wave and he simply raised a hand back in response, the other occupied with soothing his now sore nose.

Kushina crossed her arms, “I was just teaching him a small lesson.”

Minato gave a small, exasperated chuckle at the woman before turning his attention to his student. "What brings you all the way out here, Kakashi? Waiting for your father?"

Kakashi resisted the urge to pout. He always hated how Minato could see right through him sometimes. Being a prodigy and the son of a legend had always kept him isolated from most other kids. He rose through the classes at the academy and then shot through ranks as well. Most people his age were still practicing the fundamentals of taijutsu, while he already attuned to his chakra affinity. Not many people were surprised when Kakashi had become a genin at the age of five, but the higher ups weren't exactly sure what to do with him. Some of them wanted to send him back to the academy, but the Third saw that as a waste of his skill. Then, a few days after his promotion, he was introduced to Namikaze Minato, and Kakashi had been his student ever since.

"Kakashi?" Minato prompted, staring at the boy with a look of concern in his eyes. More often than not, this was the expression he saw on his sensei’s face whenever he was with him. His father had always laughed at the fact that Minato was quickly becoming one of the most skilled shinobi in the village, but still worried like a mother hen. “What’s on your mind?”

Kakashi’s gaze wandered back over to the empty road in front of them. "My father said he would be here before noon, but…" He hated how small his voice sounded as it drifted off.

Kushina placed a hand on his head and ruffled his hair. "Don't worry, Kashi-kun. Sensei's always been really strong. I doubt anybody could put him down without a fight. Plus, Jiraiya-sama is with him. And with those two together, any trouble they find is usually only found because they were looking for it."

"I'm sure that they'll be back soon. Jiraiya-sensei must have gotten distracted with his… research," Minato added brightly.

Kakashi simply nodded, which he seemed to do a lot when he couldn't find the right words to say. Even though he disliked being coddled by his sensei and his father's former student, he couldn't deny how the two jounins' words had help to put his troubled thoughts at ease. He allowed himself to find more logic in their reasonings than the worst-case scenarios that kept formulating in his head. The whole ordeal just reminded him that even though he felt that he could take care of himself just fine, having people like Kushina and Minato to support him was comforting. He briefly wondered when they had all gotten so close.

After Kushina had become his father’s student, she had always been a lingering presence in Kakashi’s life. Now that he thought about it, he had known Kushina for as long as he could remember. He was well aware that she had been the one to watch him when Sakumo left on missions while he was still a baby. Jiraiya and Tsunade had also been there to help, since they were good friends with his father and technically Kakashi's godparents. However, with Jiraiya being in and out of the village so often, and Tsunade working full time at the hospital, the job fell upon Kushina half of the time. She always insisted that she never minded and that he was so _"cute"_ , but he was fairly certain that the only reason she had never complained was because of the amount of blackmail material she had over him now.

Meeting Minato had been a bit different. Kakashi had always heard Jiraiya speaking to his father about his genius student, Minato, the one that dreamt of becoming Hokage someday, and the one that was working to perfect a jutsu similar to the Second Hokage's time-space jutsu. At the time, he hadn't really paid too much attention to whoever the man was, but it did motivate him to work harder in the academy and with his training. Kakashi wanted his father to be able to be proud of him just like Jiraiya was with his student. In a way, "Namikaze Minato" had become an inspiration to him.

So, on the day that he met the smiling, cheerful man that was meant to be his jounin-sensei, he couldn't help but feel disappointed. His sensei was kind of ditzy. Or at least, that's how he presented himself to Kakashi. It wasn't until they had gone on their first mission, a simple delivery trip gone wrong, that he established a firm respect for the man. Ten Iwa ninja had gone down in less than two minutes and Minato didn't have a scratch on him. Kakashi still remembered how his sensei’s face had been absent of his usual grin when he wiped the blood off from his kunai. Their student-teacher bond had slowly gotten stronger since that day.

Now, the two jounin watched over him like a little brother (and Kushina always tried to get him to call her " _nee-chan_ ", but it hadn’t quite stuck yet. As if Kakashi would ever let it). Both of them liked to check in on him, even if his father was home. Minato had a more subtle approach, asking if he was taking care of himself and how his wounds were doing whenever he got hurt on a mission. On the other hand, Kushina was a force to be reckoned with. Once she focused on something, she didn’t let it go until she felt satisfied with the results, such as the time when she had found out that Kakashi was a pound underweight. Kushina had taken it upon herself to bring him ramen and soup, making sure he never missed a meal. His father had received quite an earful during that time, as well.

Even though Kakashi always made a show about how annoyed or roll his eyes at the two's antics, he was constantly reminded of how grateful he was for the good people that surrounded him.

"Kakashi!" Minato exclaimed sharply, drawing the boy from his thoughts. When had he become so dizzy? "Kakashi, are you bleeding?"

"Eh?! When did you get this?" Kushina yelled after lifting his shirt and finding his mediocre bandage job. Blood had begun to soak through the tape and a drop could be seen making its way down the side of his stomach, escaping from the bindings.

"Was this from this morning?" With the distraught tone Minato carried, he could practically hear the man blaming himself for the injury.

Kakashi wanted to tell them that he was fine and that it was just a lot of blood for a small wound, but he couldn't find it within himself to make the excuse. Suddenly he found that he was extremely tired. He tried to cling to Kushina's voice, and focus on Minato's eyes, but his vision began to blur. The world started to tilt sideways, the floor and the sky becoming vertical. Kakashi squeezed his eyes shut, hoping the swaying feeling would leave if he did so, but the next time he cracked his eyes open, he was being carried across rooftops.

The first thing he could think of was how nice it felt to have the cool wind brush across the burning wound on his stomach. He was with Minato and Kushina, right? They wouldn't be angry if he just took a short nap… And by the time he woke up, perhaps his father would be there, too. He was just so tired and so comfortable in the person's arms…

And the last thing he saw before let himself sleep was the white head of hair contrasting against red morning skies.


	2. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakumo and Jiraiya talk, Sakumo thinks too much, and Minato learns yet another lesson from his sensei.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Thank you to the support this fic has gotten. This is my first Naruto fic, so I'm a bit late in the game, but I'm glad there are still people out there that are willing to read an AU origin fic like this, especially since I've incorporated some headcanons here. I just remember I was re-watching the Pein arc and I noticed that when Kakashi "died", Tsunade was very upset. Ever since then, I've always made the connection that Sakumo was around the same age as the Sannin and that they would have been friends (well, Tsunade and Jiraiya, at least) so they must have seen Kakashi grow up.
> 
> No Kakashi this chapter! I thought I'd establish some more relationships before moving forward. Next time we'll get to see Kakashi and Tsunade's relationship.
> 
> Also! I've tried to make sense of the Naruto timeline, but there are many inaccuracies, especially with the anime timeline that I've been looking at. So I've tried to tweak some things here and there to make a bit of sense of them. Here are some ages you may or may not care about. This is just for this verse. I tried to find these ages by connecting them to major events (ex. the kyuubi attack).  
> Sakumo - 34.  
> The Sannin - 32.  
> Kushina & Minato - 19.  
> Third Hokage - 51.  
> Kakashi - 8.

The fallen leaves were pushed up into the air, along with traces of grass and dirt as Hatake Sakumo forced more chakra into the soles of his feet. The sound of him leaping through the forest was only rivaled by the one that mimicked his own. He knew that Jiraiya was somewhere well behind him since each time he felt the Sannin's chakra flare, it was accompanied by the clanking of the wooden sandals he insisted on wearing.

"Oi! Sakumo! Slow down a bit, will ya? I'm starting to feel my age." He heard the Toad Sage call out from a distance.

"Isn't that my line?" Konoha’s White Fang shot back wittily. He was two – nearly three years older than Jiraiya, after all.

"Not the point,” Sakumo heard his friend mumble, then in a louder voice, he said. “We're nearly at the village. What's the rush?"

Sakumo jumped up and perched himself on a tree branch, turning back to see his friend quite a distance away. Part of him resisted the urge to laugh, while the other was slightly annoyed. "Sorry, sorry. We had to make up time since _you_ decided that you wanted to stop by Mura* for your precious 'research'," he put air-quotes around the last part of his sentence.

"Hmph. You make fun of it now, but just wait. _The Tale of the Gutsy Ninja_ is going to be a bestseller and soon I'll have all the ladies!" Jiraiya grinned widely as he leaped to Sakumo's side, finally catching up with him.

"I'll make sure to get an autographed copy, then.” The White Fang joked offhandedly, hopping down to the ground and starting again at a steady walking pace. The pair had lost a bit of time due to Jiraiya's escapades, but now they were nearly at the village gates and he still had an hour to spare.

Jiraiya sprung down and joined him on the forest floor. His friend gestured dramatically, "Just you wait, Saku. You'll miss me when I'm off being a famous author."

"I'm sure," Sakumo scoffed and rolled his eyes despite the smile that grew on his lips. He was never able to resist the humor that Jiraiya always carried around on his shoulders.

However, the conversation died down quickly after that, and both men spent a moment in silence, listening to the world around them. They started to move on after a few seconds, traveling side-by-side from there and reveling in the cool breeze of the forests that Hi no Kuni was known so well for. In the Land of Fire, one could always expect warm weather, bright skies, and lush, green forests. Other lands liked to brag about their resources and geographical advantages, but Sakumo wouldn't trade his home for anything in the world. Especially since their trip to Tetsu no Kuni had left much to be desired in terms of foliage and nature.

"It'll be good to finally get to the village," he commented, voicing his thoughts.

"That's for sure. I was freezing my ass out there in Testu. Konoha's always got it good… But that's not the real reason why you're rushing home, is it?" Jiraiya inquired, throwing his arms behind his back in a stretch. Sakumo sent him a look that could only be translated to, ' _of course not_ ', but Jiraiya already knew what was on his mind. "How's the kid doing? Still being a prodigy?"

"Unfortunately," Sakumo sighed, but he wore a smile as he did so. "I promised him I would be back by noon today. I haven't gotten to spend time with him in so long…"

"Hmm, are you sure everything's alright? It's not like you to make promises, especially ones you know you have no control over," the Sannin glanced over at his friend, concern causing the corners of his lips to curve into a frown.

The White Fang hesitated, then finally spoke, "With everything that's been happening… The Third wants to make me the next Hokage."

"Eh?" Jiraiya stopped and stared at him for a long time before his eyes went wide. "EH? No way! I never thought the old man would let go of the hat!"

"You aren't angry?" Sakumo started a bit sheepishly, "– that he didn't choose you or Orochimaru or...?"

Jiraiya gave him a bright grin, "Are you kidding? I'm not meant to be cooped up in a stuffy tower with the only reading material being documents and mission statement upon mission statement. Besides, I don't wanna think about what the village would be like if Orochimaru of all people became the Fourth." Jiraiya pulled Sakumo closer to him abruptly, wrapping his arm around the older man's neck. "I'm going to be the best friend of the next Hokage!"

"Jiraiya!" Sakumo struggled out the Sannin's grip. "It hasn't been made official yet. Sandaime-sama still has to talk to the elders and then file the paperwork..."

"Bah, the elders love you! The whole village practically _worships_ you."

"I'm not worried about that. I mean – I am – but… I haven't even mentioned it to Kakashi yet, and ever since I came back from that mission we haven't been as close…" Sakumo drifted off, his eyes wandering up to the red skies.

His mind drifted onto the older memories where he and his son would train together. It felt like just yesterday that he was teaching Kakashi about chakra control and how to properly wield a kunai, and now his son was out in the field – just like him. It was a strange thing to wonder about. After all, he was fairly certain that he was the only father in Konoha, hell, perhaps even in the entirety of the Land of Fire, that got to say his son helped pay the bills. The nagging thoughts lingering in the back of his head said that this wasn’t exactly something he should be proud of, but how could he not? Kakashi was merely following the example that Sakumo had set for him, and how could he justify faulting him for that?

Sakumo shook his head, trying to force back the troubling thoughts.

Jiraiya noticed this, and tried to comfort the him. "Come on, Saku. The Little Hound is tough; I'm sure that he'd be beaming with pride to see his father's face up on the Hokage monument."

Sakumo closed his eyes briefly and sighed. _That’s not what I’m worried about._

The two Leaf-nins continued their steady pace despite the White Fang’s drooping shoulders and the Toad Sage’s iron grip. They were quiet for a few moments, but suddenly, the hand that was meant to be gentle and friendly tightened. It surprised Sakumo enough to where he nearly stopped, but then he heard the serious tone Jiraiya had dropped into.

"Sakumo, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, especially when you’ve already got plenty to worry about, but I'm telling you this as your friend and as Kakashi's godfather. The fact that you're even being considered for the position makes you and him a target," his companion was staring forward as he said this, eyes fixed on the road ahead, avoiding his gaze.

Even then, the White Fang stared at his friend with apprehension, "What do you mean?" His eyes narrowed. No one would dare lay a finger on his son.

Not while he was still alive and breathing.

He watched the way Jiraiya's eyes shifted around before the man finally spoke, in a hushed tone. "Let's keep going,” and then he launched off with a push of chakra in the soles of his feet, heading back into the trees.

Sakumo followed after, catching up with his friend and hissed, "Jiraiya, _what's going on_?"

Jiraiya shook his head grimly, "There's been talk. It's been a long time since sensei's become the Sandaime. Waiting thirty years for the Fourth Hokage position can make someone desperate… Someone like Danzo, at least."

"Danzo?" His eyes flew wide open. " _Shimura Danzo_? He already heads Root; why would he want to be Hokage?"

"Why would anyone like Danzo want to be Hokage? He wants ultimate power over the village – or at least that's one of the reasons. Danzo and the Hiruzen-sensei have had a rivalry going on for years and the man was never too happy when sensei was chosen to be the Nidaime's successor," Jiraiya growled.

Sakumo knew how much this must have bothered him. At one point, Jiraiya himself had wanted to be Hokage, but to help those he cared about and to try to establish peace between the lands. It was definitely an idealist’s perspective towards politics, but it was a better alternative than what the Root leader was surely planning. Someone like Danzo would want to turn Konoha into a military village, a vision completely different from the Sandaime’s legacy. The whole village would change, and Sakumo wasn’t sure if it was necessarily for the better.

"What's worse is that the elders actually like him, too," Jiraiya nearly spat, lips curled in disdain.

If Sakumo was assuming correct, he knew where the conversation was headed. "You think that Danzo will try and hurt me – hurt Kakashi?"

"No… Yes… I don't know. I just have a bad feeling about the guy, that's all. You know my hunches are always right, Saku!" Jiraiya pointed a finger at him, the dark attitude around him dissipating quickly.

Sakumo raised a brow and rolled with the punch, "Yeah? Like that 'hunch' you had about the weather that one week near Suna? 'Hot sand and clear skies the whole way'! We were being washed out by a monsoon the entire trip."

"How was I supposed to know it was monsoon season?!"

"There's this great thing called a _calendar_ , Jiraiya," Sakumo informed him sarcastically, smirking at the childish pout that was forming on his thirty-two year-old friend's face.

The two lightly bickered until the green Konoha gates came into view. Sakumo was pleased that they had actually made it back an hour earlier than he had told his son. Maybe he could surprise him on the way home…

"Oi, look. The brats came out to greet us," Jiraiya was waving to the three figures that were standing just inside the village. Sakumo smiled when he recognized the distinctive heads of red, yellow, and silver. He was ready to raise his arm to wave as well, when he noticed that something was wrong.

The red and the blonde were moving frantically, their body language screaming _distress_. Sakumo's heart nearly stopped when he saw the shorter figure in the middle sway and stagger, moving so suddenly that the two beside him barely caught his small body before it hit the ground. He could hear their panicked shouts from where he was standing.

"I told you I had a bad feeling…" Jiraiya muttered, but Sakumo was already gone.

* * *

Minato was terrified.

He was holding his student, barely eight years of age, while blood began to drip from the bandages that covered the boy's wound.

 _How did this happen?_ He thought miserably.

Minato remembered the details from their last mission. There had been at least fifteen Grass nin surrounding them. They were meant to pass through Kusa peacefully on the way back from delivering information to the Fire Daimyo's ninja rendezvous point, but two of their men instigated a fight and forced them to retaliate. He tried to think of a moment when Kakashi could have gotten hit, but the fight was a blur.

While Minato was lost in his thoughts, he barely noticed Kushina rushing to check on the injury. He had to stop himself from wincing when his eyes fell upon the raw flesh and the irritated skin around the cut.

"Poison…" Kushina gasped, her fearful eyes meeting his own.

Minato couldn't speak, for his guilt was quickly washing over him in rapid waves. So many different _‘what-ifs_ ’ and ‘ _should-haves_ ’ coursed through his head. _I should have covered him better. I should have gotten to him sooner. I should have pressed harder when asking him about his injury the first time._ _What if this poison handicaps him? What if it keeps him from being a ninja? What if this kills him? Why, why, why didn't I try harder?_

"Hey!" Minato felt someone press a knuckle to the side of his head, strangely gentle. "Idiot. Snap out of it! I know what you're thinking right now; you feel like you should've been able to prevent this, but listen. You couldn't have known about this unless Kakashi wanted you to. So stop acting like this is all your fault," Kushina glared at him, as if daring him to answer back with anything other than compliance.

"I – sorry..." he replied, while absently massaging his cheek, still trying to convince himself that her words were true.

"She's right, Minato." The blonde's eyes went wide at the new voice that had joined them.

"Sensei!" Kushina stared up at her former teacher in awe, as she seemed just as surprised to see the man as he was. "Jiraiya-sensei!" The Toad Sage gave them both a grin, but when his gaze fell upon the injured boy between them, his lips thinned into a fine line.

Sakumo placed a hand on Minato's shoulder and gave him a small smile, "My son can be rather stubborn when he wants to. I'm afraid he gets that from me. You've done a lot for Kakashi, so try not to blame yourself for this, Minato." He then moved to pick up his son who was resting against Kushina's legs. "Kushina?"

The woman was prepared for the query and answered firmly, "It's poison. It's the only reason why the wound hasn't stopped bleeding."

"I see…" The White Fang bent down and gathered Kakashi in his arms gingerly. For a split second, Minato thought he saw a flash of doubt pass through the older man's eyes, but it was gone in an instant. Instead, a kind closed-eye smile took its place. "Tsunade-hime will probably know how to flush out the toxin… Thank you for looking after my son, as usual."

"It's never a problem, sensei," Kushina gave the older man a thumbs up. "Now, go get the brat taken care of so I can beat some sense into him."

Sakumo let out a hearty laugh, "At least try to be gentle on him? He is injured, after all." He then turned to Jiraiya, "Can you take care of the mission report? My hands are a bit full right now…"

The light-hearted conversation caused the Sannin to brighten up, "Get the brat fixed up. I'll make sure to drop by later and visit the kid."

Minato watched as Sakumo nodded his thanks and then dashed off, leaving a gust of wind in his wake. The three stared after him, watching his figure become more and more distant as it soared over the rooftops.

It wasn't until a few minutes had passed that Minato’s sensei decided he was to be the first to cut through the heavy silence that had fallen over the group. Jiraiya faced them with his signature grin back in place, "Hey, brats. I see you're still up to no good." Jiraiya must have noticed the solemn look on his face, because the older man went up to him and slapped him upside the head, "Oi. What's that look all about? The Little Hound's gonna be fine, you'll see. I've seen Tsunade-hime mend bones while half asleep."

"R-right," was all Minato managed to push out, somehow feeling _more_ concerned with this fact. The twisting feeling in his stomach just wouldn't go away.

Jiraiya hooked an arm around Minato's neck and declared, "Well! I should get to the Third's office soon. Don't wanna keep him waiting. Hope you don't mind if I borrow your boyfriend, Kushina!"

"EH?" Minato didn't know whether he should have been amused or offended by the disturbed look on Kushina's face. "I wouldn't be in a relationship with that idiot! Just look at him! Falling apart over nothing."

"Hmm, I see what you mean," Jiraiya agreed, sagely.

"O-Oi…!" Minato muttered. He still had _some_ dignity.

"Don’t you _‘oi’_ me! You know it’s true-ttbane!” She stuck her tongue out at him, and it vaguely reminded Minato of when they were kids. “Anyway, I'll be off. I’m gonna meet up with Sensei and make sure Kakashi’s doing all right. Tell Sandaime-sama I say 'hello', will ya?" And with that, the woman faded within her shunshin, disappearing in a cyclone of water and leaving a small puddle in her place.

Jiraiya laughed loudly, "Ahh, what a woman. Hey, brat. When are you gonna make your move, eh?"

Minato felt heat rise and settle in his cheeks, making him feel like he was thirteen again, "Sensei! That's the last thing that's on my mind right now!"

"Oh, is it?" The Sannin sighed in exasperation, as if his Minato's words were causing him physical pain. "Young people like you shouldn't take things like this for granted. A woman like Kushina isn't going to stay available for long, you know."

Minato made a sour face towards his old teacher, but even then his words hit a nerve.

Minato and Kushina had been friends for a good number of years now, and he had recalled numerous occasions when the she complained to him about the "nerve of some men".

("Honestly! What do they think they'll accomplish with those dumb pick-up lines? Why can't they compliment women like normal people do?")

Most of the time, she never gave men the time of day since most of the men their age had taken part in teasing her during their academy days. Minato had never been the type to get involved with those kinds of things – always being a quiet student.

Still, she had seemed to make an exception with him. He had always thought it had something to do with that night he helped her get away from the Kumo-nin that had come after her, but he was never really sure about anything when it came to dealing with Kushina. And unfortunately, he often felt that he was just as bad with women as his sensei was.

Maybe even a little worse.

"I don't think Kushina feels that way about me," Minato concluded with a downhearted shrug.

"How'd you suppose that is?" His sensei prompted.

He tilted his head, "She just said so, didn't she?"

Jiraiya let out a sigh, "Maa, you really are hopeless… But I suppose you'll learn eventually." The white-haired man began to drag him towards the Hokage Tower, keeping an arm slung over his shoulder comfortably. It wasn't until then that Minato realized how much he had missed his sensei.

With the Jiraiya being so fond of adventuring, he was only ever in the village for a short period of time before he was gone again. But that was how he had always been. Minato remembered the years when he was still under the Sannin's apprenticeship and they would go on long journeys, sometimes across Hi no Kuni or even further than that. The amount of travels where it had just been him and his sensei walking along, chatting casually, were far too many to count on both his hands. A soft smile curved on his lips as his heart ached from the nostalgia.

"But, since this situation with Kushina is the last thing on your mind, you wanna tell me what's the first?" Jiraiya asked.

Minato's smile quickly faded as he thought back on his injured student. He bowed his head. "Sensei… Why do you think Kakashi didn't let us know he was hurt? Do you think it's because he doesn't trust me? Do I scare him? Do you think I've done something to upset him?"

"Whoa, slow down, kid. Kakashi adores you. He may have a funny way of showing it, but it’s just his Hatake genes playing out," Jiraiya reassured him.

"Then what am I doing wrong…?" His words trailed off dejectedly.

The Sage chuckled a bit, "Let me tell you a story." He looked up to the sky, which had now taken on a brilliant blue hue. The older man seemed to see something there that Minato couldn't.

"There was once a man who cherished his comrades, his friends, his village, more than anything in the world. However, shinobis with a heart as big as his tend to do foolish things... Hatake Sakumo was that fool. We were both part of a three man cell at one time during the Second Shinobi War. The two of us were part of a team that specialized with seals and Tsunade-hime was there as our medic. We were almost out of Amegakure* when we were ambushed by a small squadron. It was dealt with quickly and we were back on our way home. It wasn't until hours later that Sakumo nearly collapsed from a wound on his side. Sound familiar?"

Minato sent Jiraiya a troubled look, "But why–?"

"Why would he do something stupid like hide an injury? Well, for one thing, he's a Hatake. They're known for getting hurt and sulking off to lick their wounds in private. Sakumo barely even allowed Tsunade-hime to bandage the cut once we had found out. And second, because he had something, or _someone_ , rather, to get back to," Jiraiya finished softly.

The blonde's eyes widened in realization. "Was it… Kakashi's mother?" He hadn't known Sakumo's wife personally, but he had read in his student's files that the kunoichi had passed away during childbirth.

Jiraiya nodded. "Sakumo's only flaw will forever be that he loves too much... And it seems like his kid may carry on that part of his legacy," the man snorted, but then winked at Minato. "The Little Hound really does like you. If you can't find his affection in what he says, then maybe you're looking in the wrong place. Kakashi isn’t really the type to outwardly show his emotions too often, but it's there; you're just going to have to search a bit harder for it."

Minato thought on these words as they began to approach the Hokage Tower. He tried to think back towards most of the days that he spent with Kakashi. _If it's not in what he says…_

And then he realized that Jiraiya was right.

 _It's in his actions._ He could see it now.

Minato remembered the way the boy's eyes would brighten, even the smallest bit, whenever they met for practice. He remembered how Kakashi would run up to him whenever they met coincidentally around the village. His heart swelled at the thought of those memories and couldn’t help but smile at the fondness he felt towards the boy. All of his previous worries seemed to evaporate – as if a huge weight had been lifted from him.

"Thank you, sensei," Minato smiled. "It seems like you're still teaching me, even now."

Jiraiya grinned, "Of course. Who else is going to make sure you brats grow up into decent human beings?" They both laughed as they walked up to the tower. Minato stared up at the fire symbol wistfully. _One day…_ He thought. _One day I'll be in there. And then I can make good use of sensei's teachings._ "This is my stop. I assume you're gonna go check on the Mini Fang?"

Minato chuckled, "Don't let Kakashi hear you calling him that. He's sure to throw a fit. Or whatever his version of a fit is."

"If it's anything like Sakumo's then he'll probably just glare and pout," the Sage joked, waving his hand dismissively.

"I wouldn't doubt that," Minato admitted. It was almost scary how similar Sakumo and Kakashi were. "I'll be going now. There's a good chance that Kushina will throttle me if I'm not there soon." He dipped his head slightly before turning on his heel and pushing chakra into his feet, ready to jump onto the nearest roof.

"Oi, Minato."

He looked over his shoulder to find his sensei standing with his back directed towards him. He didn't need to see his expression to catch the tension that was coiled up into the older man’s words. "Things are changing around here… Make sure you take care of the kid. I don't want anything happening to my only godson."

And before Minato could question the meaning behind his sensei's ominous warning, Jiraiya entered the Hokage Tower, and let the door close right behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, it was really fun to write Sakumo and Jiraiya's friendship, so I hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter is already written and should be out soon, I just have to go back and edit!
> 
> *Mura - "Kaze no Mura". Literally means "Village of Breeze" or "Village in the Breeze". A place I made up, basically.
> 
> *The Tale of the Gutsy Ninja - Jiraiya's first novel. Sold horribly. Poor guy.
> 
> *Testu no Kuni - Land of Iron
> 
> *Shunshin - "Body Flicker" Technique


	3. Turmoil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsunade makes an appearance, Kakashi asks a question, and Sakumo is a conflicted man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've read over this a few times, but I'm sure there are still grammatical/spelling errors hidden here, so please excuse them and feel free to point them out so I may fix them!
> 
> Thank you to all the people who have commented! I love hearing feedback, and you're all so very kind! Thank you very much! This chapter is very Tsunade based... And that's all I'll say about that! Hope you enjoy!

Kakashi woke to the sound of someone humming.

It was a familiar tune, but he couldn't seem to name it, especially not while his mind was still trying to catch up with where he was exactly. He opened his eyes experimentally and his vision swam slightly, but soon he had blinked away the vertigo and was met with the sight of a plain white ceiling.

 _Where am I?_ He wondered as the feel of cold sheets met his fingers. It wasn't until he saw a flash of red to his left that he remembered what had happened.

The Uzumaki had been sitting at his bedside, knitting what appeared to be the beginnings of a red piece of cloth. The sound of the metal needles had stopped along with the peaceful humming. Kushina whispered gently, "Kakashi-kun? Are you up?" Her voice lifted him from whatever drowsiness was left in his body, and he was wide awake.

He moved to sit up, but winced when his stomach lurched and his head spun. He gripped the sheets tightly while he waited for the sensation to pass. Kakashi took a deep breath and tried to get up once more, but this time he felt steady hands guide him into a sitting position. "Easy now. You shouldn't push yourself," his eyes widened in surprise at the sound of a familiar voice.

Sitting to his right, still dressed in his mission outfit, was his father. His short, white hair was sticking up in all different directions, and he had dark bags under his eyes that emphasized the exhaustion that was wearing down on the man. The jounin vest that he had always donned was speckled with blood stains, but even then, he still wore a smile. "Father! When did you get back from your mission?" Kakashi asked.

"Aah, let's see… I was able to get back _just_ in time to see my son collapse due to blood loss," Sakumo raised a challenging brow at him. "Care to explain?"

Kakashi felt the heat rising to his face. _So that was what it was_ , he thought ruefully. He didn't have time to diagnose himself before he passed out, nor had he even realized how much blood he had lost from the injury. "I… I just got back from a mission earlier with Minato-sensei. It didn't seem like that bad of a cut at first, but…"

"But why would you hide your wound? We’re lucky that Tsunade-hime can work wonders with most poisons, but next time you may not be so lucky. Blood loss is a serious problem, Kakashi, especially when combined with poisons. If you had waited a few hours more, you would have been in critical condition," Sakumo scolded, giving Kakashi a pointed look.

"It didn't start bleeding really bad until a couple hours later," he started, trying to defend himself but even he was aware of how weak his argument sounded. "I dressed the wound quickly because… I wanted to see you right when you got back…"

His father sighed and Kushina gave a short huff before flicking his nose. Immediately after, Kakashi felt arms wrap around him, and his vision was obscured by red while his nose was nearly overwhelmed by the smell of lavender. "Idiot... You had us worried sick. I was so scared when you fell into my arms and just– next time, tell us, okay? You don't have to keep doing things by yourself, Kakashi, there are people who want to help you."

"Speak for yourself, Kushina, I've got half a mind to put that boy into a week long coma."

Almost immediately, his father’s student released him from her embrace – as if throwing him to the dogs. He stared in horror at the woman as if she had just betrayed him. It was only returned with a small, unsympathetic shrug that basically said, 'you did this to yourself'. Kakashi then gulped and looked up to meet the gaze of the angry Slug Sannin. A shiver ran down his spine and he had to steel himself to prevent himself from showing it. Despite the fact that he was in a room full of his family and friends, he had never felt so unprotected in his life.

" _You._ Don't give me that look, Hatake Kakashi, you know that what you did was absolutely _stupid_ . And if you believed for one second that you were going to get out of here without hearing a good, long lecture from me, well – _think again_ ,” Tsunade crossed her arms and stared down at him with a withering glare. At that moment, Kakashi wished he could sink into his pillows. “Sakumo! When did my godson become so reckless?"

"Maa... I'm pretty sure he's always been that way, hime. He's the son of the White _Pain_ , after all." It was at that time that Jiraiya and Minato decided to enter the room, the Sage wearing a mischievous grin and his sensei with an apologetic look on his face.

"’ _The White Pain_?’" His father repeated, staring at his best friend and appearing less than amused.

"Yeah, you're always getting hurt while trying to finish a mission or saving someone else's ass. Half of the time, it's mine, actually."

The White Fang shrugged, "As long as I can do both, I don't mind getting scraped up. And watch the language." Kakashi didn't want to be the one to point out that he had already heard much worse from his godparents. In fact, he was rather used to it.

Tsunade grumbled, but her anger had gone from boiling to simmering, "Should’ve know that's where he gets it from."

Meanwhile, Kakashi could only blink at the two Sannin. He didn't really understand why they thought it was such a bad thing that his father dedicated his life to the mission _and_ his teammates. If he could do both, and do it without getting himself killed, then why was it such a problem?

Sakumo shot her and Jiraiya half-hearted glare before he turned back to his son, "Well, now that you're feeling better, you should be able to leave soon. I have a surprise for you." He corrected himself quickly when Tsunade shot him a murderous look. “As soon as you’re one-hundred percent better, of course.”

Kakashi's curiosity was peaked instantly. He barely ever got to see his father lately with all the missions and training getting in the way. It almost seemed like a miracle that his father was here and ready to spend time with him. Kakashi almost bolted out of his bed at that instant, but Tsunade's sharp tone cut through his excitement. "Don't get ahead of yourself, kid. That poison wasn't fatal, but your body is still weak from the after effects of it. You're not cleared until I say so."

"But Tsuna-basan*... I'm feeling fine, honestly..." Kakashi attempted, even going as far as to using the endearing name he had once known her by when he was younger. However, the glare that the woman was sending him caused his words to drift off.

"Given the fact that you were willing to let yourself bleed to death a few hours ago, I'm going to find your opinion invalid until I stop thinking you're an idiot," Tsunade said bluntly. If she had said it to anyone else, they were more likely to have taken offense, but Kakashi only hung his head. She turned to his father and sensei instead. "No training for at least two days; missions are out of the question for five."

Both men nodded in unison at the instructions. Minato assured, "Don't worry, I'll make sure he isn't overexerting himself. Besides, I'm sure he'll probably want to be with you most of the time, Sakumo-san. Especially now that you're on leave."

Kakashi's head whipped around towards his father at this new information. The White Fang just smiled brightly at him and put a hand on his head, "That's right, son. Sandaime-sama has given me a little break, so I'll be around more often."

"Two Hatake in the village at the same time? Kami help us," Tsunade murmured, causing everyone but the two men in question to chuckle. "At least with both of you here you won't be going out and getting yourself poisoned or maimed. Although, with your luck, Sakumo, I wouldn't be surprised if you managed to do so even within Konoha's walls."

"Aah, you always did have the best bedside manners, Tsunade-hime," Sakumo replied dryly, but his eyes still glimmered with amusement when speaking to his old friend. "Well then, when do you think Kakashi will be able to be released?"

The blonde kunoichi sighed, but answered, "Tonight. But _only_ if he rests until then. I don't need you running around just after you've gotten out of the infirmary only to wind up back here because your body can't handle it."

"Yes, Tsunade-basan," Kakashi answered as obediently as he could, but his tone must have fell flat because the woman let out a small, exasperated snort before putting a hand on his head.

"Chin up, kid. Sleep for a bit and maybe I'll let you go early," her voice was still firm, but her amber eyes carried a softness that hadn't been there before. It briefly reminded him of the hazy days from way back; the ones he could barely remember.

Around the age of two and three, Jiraiya, Kushina, and Tsunade practically helped to raise him. Despite Kakashi’s own protests, he was technically still a toddler and needed to be watched at all times. He could vaguely recall the days when his aunt would come over and babysit him. Most of the times she carried scrolls that she would study while Kakashi tried to look over her shoulder and copy the characters with a brush. She had been furious when her entire figure and half of the living room had been covered in ink when the boy had somehow managed to figure out how to apply chakra to his seals. The conversation about the aftermath between his father and aunt had contained the word "genius" quite a few times.

Along with some other rather colorful vocabulary.

Even then, he still remembered the fondness in her eyes when she came back the next time and handed him his own brush set and watered down ink.

It was that same look that had him nodding now, not wanting to disappoint the older woman. And though Kakashi would never admit it, he was truly beginning to feel tired. The excitement and anticipation he had felt before had settled down and his eyelids began to droop unwillingly. Wariness seeped into his bones until he found it difficult to keep his head up right.

It wasn’t long before a gentle touch guided him back down onto his back while a voice cooed, "Sleep, Kakashi."

And he didn't hesitate to do so.

* * *

Kakashi eventually woke later that day, around the same time that the sun was beginning to fall below the horizon. Before he was able to be released, Tsunade gave him a long lecture that was full of threats and deadly promises for if he should come back to the infirmary any time that she deemed too soon. After she had muttered something about "damn Hatake genes", his godmother allowed him to leave without another word. When he had asked his father about why the woman was so antsy lately, he simply answered, "Tsunade-basan is like that sometimes."

Even though his father tried to hide it, Kakashi was aware of what had caused Tsunade to be so on edge. Three years ago, his godmother's younger brother, Nawaki, had died on a mission when he was twelve. Ever since then, she had become rather paranoid when it came to the people she cared about and their wellbeing. However, Kakashi hadn't realized how worried he had made some people with his injury. Guilt rose in his chest and he frowned slightly.

"What's wrong?" His father asked, and this made him frown even more.

The two of them were walking home together for the first time in months. Part of him wanted to revel in the moment and say that nothing was wrong, but he knew he had to say something about the twisting feeling that had formed in his stomach. "I just... I'm sorry for worrying you, especially right after you got home..." He managed to mumble out.

Kakashi kept his head bowed, not wanting to see the disappointment that was sure to cross his father's face, but instead he heard a light chuckle and felt a hand fall on his head. "It's alright, son. As long as you don't go and decide to make a habit of it, then everything's fine. Afterall, I can't get mad at you for wanting to see me."

He looked up at his father and found the man smiling down at him.

"Father… Why was everyone so worried about me?" Kakashi wondered, genuinely confused. His father had got hurt quite frequently. Most of the time, Tsunade would simply yell at the man, use her _healing palm_ on him, and send him on his way. Jiraiya didn't even react half as much as his godmother did, opting to tease the man as much as he could, instead.

The boy watched as the White Fang suddenly had a mixture of emotions cross his face, causing Kakashi to tilt his head curiously. It was not often that he saw his father looking so conflicted. Finally, the older man spoke up. "Kakashi… They were concerned because they care about you. Tsunade, Jiraiya, Minato-san, and Kushina-chan… They all love and care for you just as much as I do. They're family."

 _So was mom and she still left_ , Kakashi wanted to say, but he knew that those words would only disturb his father even further. He would always get this distant look in his eyes whenever he brought up his mother.

And the truth was, Kakashi didn't know what happened to his mother. He had a feeling that she would have never left him and his father intentionally, but his father was so inconsistent with his lies about the woman that Kakashi was beginning to think that may have been the truth. There had been a number of moments when he would ask his father questions about his mother and he had been given different answers every time.

"She died during the Second Shinobi War."

"She fell terribly ill and wasn't able to recover."

"She was fatally wounded during a mission."

Each lie would get more and more vague and each time his father spoke was another question added to Kakashi's growing list. The only thing that never changed was his father’s constantly reminder attached to each of his falsities.

_“Never forget that your mother loved you.”_

Kakashi knew it was useless to continue prying for information that he was never going to get, so he decided that it was best to leave the subject alone.

Still, this was a situation where Kakashi felt he could actually get his father to give him the truth. And so he pushed further, "They never make a big deal when you get hurt."

The man laughed, "Son, I'm also more than four times your age, as well. When you become an adult like me, nothing really phases you."

He was a bit annoyed that his father deflected his last statement. "So it's just because I'm young?" Kakashi wanted to clarify.

"Mainly, yes," was all his father said.

Kakashi processed the answer he was given and concluded that he would just have to wait until he was older to understand. Grown-ups seemed to have their own separate language when they wanted to try and keep something hidden from kids. He had been able to comprehend most of it, since he was a publicly proclaimed genius and all, but there were still things that he couldn't translate.

The rest of the walk home was relatively quiet as the boy mulled over his thoughts and Sakumo frowned over his.

* * *

Later that night, Sakumo sighed loudly while pulling an old scroll out of his storage chest. The paper was dry and brittle, but the ink had only faded slightly, signifying the meticulous care that was given to the document. The Hound contract had been a part of the Hatake family for years, even before his own time. His great-grandfather had been the first one to sign it, and ever since then, all Hatake had added their names to the scroll, binding ninken and shinobi for life.

And now the list would be getting a new name.

Hatake Kakashi: The Prodigy. The youngest chunin ever. His son.

Part of him didn't want to introduce the contract to the boy yet. Signing a contract meant that he was practically an adult in the shinobi world. If one is old enough to kill and have a summon, then everything else should be a piece of cake.

(Sakumo didn't even want to think about how _wrong_ that mindset was.)

But was his son really ready? Ready for all the responsibilities and hardships that came with signing the contract? Was _he_ ready to have the boy see the contract? Since Sakumo was considering taking on the Hokage position, he had wanted Kakashi to have a companion. However, deep down, he knew it would only serve as another means – another _tool_ – to kill.

Ever since Kakashi had gone on his first B-ranked mission and returned with blood tainting his hair, Sakumo had been worried that he had allowed his son to progress too quickly. Sometimes he would walk through the streets of Konoha and watch its citizens. He would see the store owners setting up, the construction workers building, and then he would see the children playing. They were kids from the academy, still carefree and full of joy... Kakashi should have been a part of that.

Instead, the boy was running around outside the village killing other ninja.

He was proud, yes – proud that his son was performing a duty to Konohagakure so early in his life. But Sakumo found that he was also scared and regretful. His six year old son had _killed_ people, just like he had. Was it right to find pride in something like that?

Was it right for his son's childhood to be tainted by something like this?

And then he remembered Kakashi's question from earlier and it just reminded him of the conversation he had with Tsunade.

* * *

_"He's a lot like you, you know," Tsunade had told him while she checked up on Kakashi and made him comfortable in the infirmary bed._

_"He is," Sakumo agreed as he felt a small, involuntary smile curve lips. His eyes never left his son's sleeping form. The White Fang brushed away some of the hair on the boy's forehead fondly._

_There was a steady silence; the only noise filling the room being made by the medinin's shuffling. But then her movement stopped, "In some cases, that may not be a good thing."_

_"... I know," and he did. He really did._

_"Look, I understand. He looks up to you; most kids do that. They idolize their parents and try to copy their ways. But you and I both know that your way is dangerous, Sakumo. Sure, you may be skilled enough to risk your life on each mission, but he's just a kid, genius or not. And if he keeps this up..."_

_"I_ know. _" Sakumo hissed, "Do you think I want him to go out there like I do? To fight the same battles I fight? Kami, he's_ eight _and he's already being considered for a promotion to jounin! And I want to be proud; dammit, I'll always be proud. But for it to be like this... Tsunade, what do I do?"_

_A hand fell on his shoulder and he looked towards its owner. His friend wore a sad expression, one that he had seen not too long ago after Nawaki had been killed – when Dan’s life had slipped between her fingers. They were the same eyes._

_Tsunade recommended, "Talk to Hiruzen-sensei. Tell him to hold off on the jounin promotion. And spend time with Kakashi. If he's decided to take on your legacy, then it'll be difficult to try and change his mind. Instead, just try to help him as much as you can. You can't stop him from going out on missions, but you can make sure he's prepared for them."_

_Sakumo put his head in his hands and whispered, "His mother... She would've known how to handle this."_

_Tsunade bent down so that she could meet his eyes. Her tone was firm when she spoke, "I know, Sakumo. But Saki isn't here right now._ You _are. And you need to be there for Kakashi while you can."_

* * *

_Saki..._ He still thought about his wife everyday. It was hard not to when raising a child that was half hers. Most people thought that Kakashi had taken after him completely, but Sakumo could see all of his mother in every one of his son’s features. Looking into his eyes – her eyes – and lying to the boy about his mother's death had pained him to his core.

Saki hadn't been well known. She had been a quiet kunoichi. Her family had never approved of her wanting to be a kunoichi, so it wasn't like she had people that boasted about her promotions or successful missions. She had never been close with her relatives and that rift only deepened after she had married him. The only ones that had really known her were Tsunade and Jiraiya, and that was only through association with Sakumo.

So when Kakashi was born, everyone knew that the White Fang had a son. However, no one was aware that Hanazono Saki had one as well. And nobody, besides her family and small group of friends, had known that she passed away during childbirth.

Her death was all due to unfortunate timing, really. A horrible sickness had swept through the village around the time that Kakashi had been born. Under the illness and the strain that came from labor, the woman passed away peacefully after succumbing to fatigue. And for a while, her death had dealt a large blow to Sakumo’s will. He was aware of the rumors that circulated during that time – that it was around the time of Saki’s passing that his martyr mentality was born. It was only with the help of Tsunade and Jiraiya that he was able to continue on. They reminded him constantly that he was not just taking care of himself anymore, that he had someone that was relying on him.

Kakashi was the only thing that kept him going, for a while.

Kakashi was _still_ the only thing that kept him fighting, because while he loved his friends and his village, sometimes he truly believed that there was nothing in the world that he wouldn’t do for his son.

"Argh…!" Sakumo's thoughts were interrupted when heard the boy huff in a rather annoyed fit.

He called out, "Kakashi? Is everything alright?"

A whiny voice answered back from inside Kakashi's room, where he had told the boy to wait for his return. The boy must have finally peeked under his shirt. "Daddd! Why didn't you tell me that Tsunade-basan dyed my bandages pink again?"

“Must have slipped my mind!” He answered his son easily. A small smile had tugged on his lips, but it died just as quickly as it had formed.

Sakumo clutched the scroll tighter. Sometimes he wished he could have protected Kakashi from the shinobi life, his life. But he knew from the moment the seven year-old had thrown a toy kunai, that there was no stopping it. There hadn't been a civilian in the Hatake family for years, and his mother had been the first of her family to become a kunoichi. Being a shinobi was not only in his blood, but the fact that the boy was a genius didn't help either. It was as if this life had already been written in the stars.

His chest ached as he stood to his feet. He rose sluggishly; his entire upper body felt as though there was a weight holding it down. Sakumo turned towards the door to Kakashi's room and took a step towards it, each footfall quieter than the last. With a heavy heart, he slowly entered the room with the Hound Contract in his hand.

And as he did all this, he couldn’t once bring himself to glance at his wife’s shrine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing Sakumo's thought process was so intriguing. In the anime, I always felt that Sakumo had killed himself not because he was ashamed of what he did, but because he hated seeing how his son was treated because of his actions. In my mind, that was always what pushed him over the edge. So to explore the man's thought process about his feelings for Kakashi, his only son, and only family member still alive, was very interesting. Sakumo loved/loves his son, dammit, and this is the hill I will die on! I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Tsunade is such a fun character to portray! I hope to get another update out very soon!
> 
> *Tsunade-basan: While Tsunade and Jiraiya are not Kakashi's aunt and uncle, he still refers to them as such. I believe it depicts how close they are as family. Plus, I'm certain that there is no Japanese honorific for "godparent". 
> 
> *Hanazono Saki: Completely made up. Kishimoto probably doesn't even have a name for Kakashi's mother, but I was tired of referring to her as 'she' and 'his mother'. I always thought Kakashi's mother would have had a rather... er... Bright name? "Hanazono" means "flower garden" or "flowerbed" and Saki can mean "hope" or "blossom". So her name translates literally into "Flower garden of hope". I thought it would a nice contrast to "Hatake" = Farmland "Sakumo" = agriculture/crops.
> 
> *Kakashi: I thought I would explain how I write Kakashi at this point. In this AU he is eight and his father is not dead, nor is he a disgrace to the village. He does not have a reason to harden himself as he does in the anime/manga. Not only that, but the White Fang is a very powerful hero here, so Kakashi sees him as a role-model which is why he doesn't understand why people don't want him to follow in his father's footsteps. Also, since he still has the childish/innocent (as innocent as a ninja can be, at least) mindset, he is much more open and curious.

**Author's Note:**

> Kakashi is slightly different in this fic. While he is still rather arrogant, he will not be as cold as he is in Kakashi Gaiden. Also, there are many things I've taken liberties with such as Kushina being one of Sakumo's genin students and Jiraiya and Tsunade being Kakashi's godparents - this fic is 90% based off of headcanons and things I wish would have been more fleshed out in the series, but alas, the anime is called "Naruto" for a reason. I hope you manage to indulge this poor fic writer's dreams. Again, thanks for reading!


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